3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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