I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
