Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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