we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Enjoy the penises
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
