i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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