I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
