I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
