All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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