the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
