I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
