and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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