people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
