The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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