I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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