how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize