in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
