Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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