found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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