Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
