Im at strip club and am horny
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
