I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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