you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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