so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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