that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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