Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize