Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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