The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
