Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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