Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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