My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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