this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
