I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize