We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
