All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
