Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
