my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
