I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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