Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
