Apparently you make a good broom.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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