Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
only you would photoshop your dick
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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