When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
That reminds me...we need to get swords
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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