my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
