Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
