Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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