One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
