Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
