when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have feelings that need drinking.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
