Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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