so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
