Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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