He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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