I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
