I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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