Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she peed on how many people?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
