Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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