Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
