I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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